So the munchkin and I had an extremely rough day the other day, and it felt a little like this.
The constant juggle of too many screaming issues fighting for attention all at once, feathers flying, stormclouds brewing, and the discussion of too many things that were most likely beyond her concept. She’s at an age where she wants desperately to be a big kid (and sometimes I think she is) but with the added frustration of the fact that she still is a little kid, and is starting to question everything, challenge everything, argue with everything.
This is apparently normal. This is apparently something nearly all kids go through. Apparently, it will pass.
A friend once told me that you WANT them to have those skills when they’re older, but you want them to wait til they’re older to USE those skills, and you definitely don’t want them to use them on you! Totally true. Aren’t we the ones teaching her curiosity, standing up to perceived injustices, sticking up for the things she wants, and discovering and deciding her own truth for herself?
Hmf. Well, it’s all well and good, but respect and politeness are also mandatory if you want to have any sort of ability to communicate with people in the general population.
I tell her quite often that it’s part of our job to make sure she doesn’t turn into a stinky ol’ Veruca…
Goodness knows, it takes a LOT of work to grow a decent person. It sure would be a lot easier if we didn’t care!
In any case, it’s a raven-juggling sort of week. It’s a phase, I know. For the time being, someone has mind-swapped my sweet little baby kid with an angst-ridden, cranky teenager. I’m not ready for the teen years yet!!–I’d like my sweet little 6-year old back, please! 🙂
So I’m off to do projects, spend a little one-on-one time with her doing some of our favorite things, and hopefully not lose all my hair in frustration.
Parenting–whew!
busy mockingbird 
3, 6, and 9 are major disequilibrium years for kids, and rival ANY teen year difficulties. Hang in there…this too shall pass and the fact that you are focusing on your relationship with her and helping her process it all…THAT is being a great parent.
Whew, yes. I found the twos were hard because she couldn’t communicate what she wanted. The threes were bad because she could tell me what she wanted, but she couldn’t always GET it. And six is hard because she knows what she wants, and doesn’t see any reason why she doesn’t deserve her way all the time. Hahah!
Oh well … most of the time it seems to me that 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17 and 18 are major disequilibrium years for kids. 😉
Each phase of parenting brings it own set of challenges. I think your friend is very wise with her perspective. We equip them with skills and tools to build independence but often it feels like they use those as weapons against us. Ugh. Parenting is such a tough job. And we definitely don’t want any Verucas, Violets, Augustuses or Mikes.
Oh man, I know, right? My sister is a mother of two TEEN girls, and tells me all the time that each phase gets harder and harder it it’s own special way. Yikes! Hah! All I can do is hold and and help her through it the best I can. And definitely make sure I don’t have a stinker kid!
I only have sons (age 6, 8, 9 and 12) but my parents tell me that my brothers got easier to deal with as they moved through the teens while my sisters got more challenging. I was just perfect, of course.
Haha! Of COURSE. I try to tell my mom that there’s NO WAY I was as difficult as mine is. She (for some reason) disagrees. 🙂
This, too……shall pass. I promise you. I’ve done it twice now. You watch them morph into gruff, petulant, attitudinal pre and teen, and then at around 18 they suddenly and without warning become their old, sweet selves again. When the going got rough, I quietly would tell them, “What you are experiencing is called Teenage Rebellion. You will look at me and think, ‘she’s the stupidest person on the planet’. You may think that, but never forget that I’m NOT the stupidest person on the planet and whatever you do, don’t even think about treating me like I am. If you wish to be rebellious, then take it out on something else…” That worked. Hang in there 😉
Oh man, I know I’ve got more coming ahead! I’ve just got to hang on tight and hope for the best! I told her I don’t allow grownups to be rude to me, so i’m sure as heck not going to take it from a KID! 🙂 Whew. Tough stuff! But like everything so far, I’m sure it’ll come in waves of awesome, frightening, awesome frightening…etc. 🙂
Yep. And interestingly, I found that the more I did not react much, the less drama. It’s kind of like walking a tightrope and constantly finding your balance. But it’s worth it in the end because you will watch this being evolve and turn into a wonderfully independent and strong person. I really LIKE my kids as adults. And you will like yours as well…
Brings back memories.
Teen years haven’t been that bad, actually. I have two teens AND a six-year-old. I’ll take the teens most days. Hang in there!