It just occurred to me today that I’ve never shared the TED talk video on my blog! It’s nothing personal, probably most likely due to the fact that I’m an introvert and don’t much like being in the spotlight.
But in the spirit of sharing, I thought it was high time I posted it here.
I adapted a lot of what I say in the TED talk into the text of our book–I worked on the talk so very hard, and I thought it told the best version of the story of the collaborations I did with our daughter.
I had months to rehearse this. And I did. I memorized it until it felt natural, which you’d think would be easy to do with a story that actually HAPPENED to you…but it’s actually quite difficult to get everything out you want to say IN THE WAY you want to say it IN THE ORDER you want to say it and make it sound natural. Because despite my awkwardness at being in the spotlight, I wanted it to be so natural it was like sitting down and telling you a story in my house or something.
Thank goodness I did, because when I got on stage, my voice started to clench up a bit, and I found myself having trouble breathing.
“Psst. Your voice is shaking.” My inner Me said, as I gave my talk. “Knock it off.”
“I KNOW! I’m trying! I don’t know WHY it’s shaking, I’m not even that nervous!” I’d say back.
“Well, you’d better snap out of it, or you’re going to look like a moron.
“I KNOW, I’M TRYING! –Oh, jeez, wait…what part was I on? Did I already say this part? Auugh!”
So I pulled it together the best I could…until my slide show clicker didn’t work. Thankfully, with a few hasty video edits, they’ve spared you the worst of my awkwardness, but dang…that was ROUGH. And it wasn’t so much about being nervous about people looking at me, but looking at me if I should potentially mess up. Did I mention I’m a perfectionist? I hate messing up. Which, I realize, draws mistakes to me like a magnet.
Before I had done the talk, I watched LOTS of TED talks online. Friends sent me their favorites and their worst. But there was one in particular (I’ll keep it anonymous) that stuck with me, because the speaker was SO shy and softspoken that they almost seemed like they were going to cry. Although it was a great talk, it was so uncomfortable to watch–I just wanted to run up there and give the speaker a hug. I wanted so badly to make sure my talk didn’t make anyone feel like that….
So even though I’ve told this story a hundred times, on paper, in my head, and in the mirror, for those of you who haven’t seen it yet, here it is.
As for me, I watched it once, and that was about all I could handle. Thank GOODNESS. I really REALLY enjoy sharing our doodles and our story with people. I absolutely LOVE to talk about art and kids and kid’s art and projects and doodles and all kinds of artsy art things. But I learned that I don’t really feel comfortable sharing with a spotlight shined on me, in the middle of a stage!
But here it is, in all its awkwardness. And if it’s too awkward, just wait around for the book. I tell a simpler version of it in the book.
Plus, in the book, my voice doesn’t shake. 🙂